The F.U.N. Quotient ... more chicken jokes (you will giggle, but we're going for *snort* here.)

As you may recall, I like chicken jokes, they recall carefree childhood years and weeks at camp trying to stump the other kids with a snappy answer. Not to mention, I'm always looking for clean jokes to use in ministry settings. But this week I came across a chicken joke master... and all of these I have openly cribbed from his fading blog's vast collection of famous persons giving their replies to the long-told joke... so go visit and read 'em all if you like this sampling.



Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Tertullian: If God has not told us, there is no need to think about it.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Jane Austen: Because it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single chicken, being possessed of a good fortune and presented with a road, must be desirous of crossing.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Aristotle: The chicken’s movement resulted from an actual sensation that was acted upon by the appetitive element of the soul.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Woody Allen: ‘Why did the —’ . . . You’re asking me? ‘Why did the chicken cross the road,’ how should I know? Maybe it was a very confused chicken. God, I’m so depressed.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
James Bond: World domination. The same old dream. Our asylums are full of chickens who think they’re Napoleon. Or God.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Pat Buchanan: Clearly that road was one of many roads, too many roads, that lead right past the Border Patrol and right into the overburdened heartland of America.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Paul McCartney: Because the long and winding road will never disappear.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Robert Frost: Because it was grassy and wanted wear.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Karl Marx: It was driven by the lash of economic necessity.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Robert Baden-Powell: To earn a road-crossing badge.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Pythagoras: Only the initiates of the inner circle are permitted to hear the reason.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Dr. Seuss: Sam-I-Am talked the chicken into it. Would you, could you cross the street? Would you with your own two feet? Could you through the smog and haze? Would you, could you look both ways?


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Flannery O'Connor: To make way for the peacocks.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Yogi Berra: Because it wasn’t chicken.


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